The Supreme Court ruling on same-sex “marriage” settled the legal question, but the debates go on regarding the social and moral ramifications.
How do supporters of traditional marriage change the hearts and minds of people that support same-sex unions?
The argument for tradition doesn’t hold much sway with secularists who place little value on it and want to fundamentally transform society. Psychiatrist Dr. Greg Popcak, popular guest on Catholic TV and radio shows says. “If you bring up the Bible and religion, some people will say, ‘I don’t believe in the Bible and I don’t care what your religion says.’”
A better approach to the same-sex “marriage” argument.
Dr. Greg Popcak is co-host of a radio show, the Executive Director of the Pastoral Solutions Institute, and the author of Broken Gods: Hope, Healing, and the Seven Longings of the Human Heart, and he thinks that a better approach is from the point of view of the children. Speaking on a recent radio show
(Listen here, June 29, Hour 2) he offered these benefits that a traditional marriage has for children that same-sex “marriage” doesn’t have:
- It unites children to their natural mother and father like no other institution. Divorce, co-habitation, adoption, surrogate parenthood, laboratory produced children, all of those are offenses against the child’s rights. Some of them grave offenses.
- No other institution protects the financial security of women better. While many women do have careers only 37% of women have college degrees. In divorce women usually fare much worse financially. As divorce and co-habitation increase, family poverty increases.
- Marriage socializes men. This may sound laughable but studies show that 69% of violent crime against women is committed by single men. Only 9% of married men commit violent crimes against women. When couples are married there is more at stake and crime goes down. In same-sex marriages violence against intimate partners is significantly higher. Marriage doesn’t have the same effect.
- Traditional marriage sustains fertility rates. Married couples have more children than any other group. Today de-population is the most serious social problem affecting the west.
Hammurabi saw benefits of traditional marriage 3800 years ago.
Dr. Popcak also added that marriage first held an exalted position in society in 1800 BC. Then pagan Babylonia was very liberal sexually but King Hammurabi saw the same benefits that traditional marriage had for his kingdom that we see today: that it helps children to know their natural parents and it sustains the population. He made marriage protections and laws and exalted it to the highest relationship in his kingdom.
However, our children today are being indoctrinated in the schools to the opposite way of thinking. Middle schoolers in Iowa learned about homosexual sex techniques at an Anti-Bullying Conference. We should be teaching them about the risks involved.
EWTN’s Fr. Mitch Pacwa said on July 21 on Threshold of Hope, “It is a high risk way of life. [Young men following it] have a life expectancy of 46 to 47 years according to Dr. Richard Wetzel MD’s book Sexual Wisdom. It is dangerous because it goes contrary to the way human beings are made.”
The National LGBT Cancer Network says in “Anal Cancer, HIV and Gay/Bisexual Men, current estimates are that HIV negative MSMs (males having sex with males) are 20 times more likely to be diagnosed with anal cancer. Those with HIV positive are 40 times more likely.
Gay men are 27 times more likely to develop HIV/AIDS according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Based on reason: philosophy, law, political science, and social science.
Ryan T. Anderson, PhD. in Political Philosophy, of The Heritage Foundation has written a brand new book (now available on Kindle) defending traditional marriage since the Obergefell v. Casey decision: Truth Overruled: The Future of Marriage and Religious Freedom (Regnery Books, July 2015).
He deftly presents his arguments based on reason: philosophy, law, political science, and social science. He covers the definition of marriage, why marriage is vital to society, the opinions of the Court, why opposition to same-sex “marriage” is not the same as racial discrimination, the status and future of religious freedom, the problems that the redefinition of marriage will bring, and the battle plan to continue the fight.
The chapter that surprised me the most, and I hope will be new information for our readers, is the one entitled “The Victims, The Children”. Mr. Anderson presents a mountain of well-researched and incisive sociological research.
The biological mother and father are best for child rearing.
I selected a few findings that I think you will find very informative. The testimony of the children of same-sex couples is most heartbreaking:
- When you check into a hospital in labor, you want to go home with your baby, not any baby. [i]
- Biology, sexual complementarity, and stability, are the 3 reasons that marriage matters and are the 3 key childrearing advantages. So with respect to two of the three main childrearing advantages, same-sex parenting cannot provide what a married mother and father can.
- David Popenoe, the Rutgers sociologist, “We should disavow the popular notion that ‘mommies can make good daddies,’ just as ‘daddies can make good mommies.’ . . . The two are different to the core, and each is necessary—culturally and biologically—for the development of a human being.’” [ii]
- Reliable studies show that children raised by same-sex couples fare substantially worse—most measures found they had
- at least twice the level of distress—than do children with opposite-sex parents on psychological, developmental and emotional outcomes. [iii]
- Outcomes for children with same-sex parents were notably worse if their parents were married. . . .
- Same-sex parents, changing from unmarried to married substantially degrades child well-being.
- The longer children reside with same-sex parents, the worse the outcomes.
- An amicus brief filed in the Obergefell case by over one hundred scholars of marriage (the “scholars’ brief”)—stated that where marriage has been redefined, the institution of marriage has been damaged, and this damage affects the children of heterosexuals.
- After the adoption of same-sex marriage the opposite-sex marriage rate declined by [at] least five percent compared to a national marriage rate that, in the past few years, has been fairly stable. [iv]
- Professor James B. Londregan, “A picture emerges: in a cross-section of children raised by parents in same-sex relationships, life outcomes tend to resemble those of children raised by single or divorced parents.”
- More Catholic adoption agencies who do the bulk of the placements will most likely have to close rather than comply with same-sex adoptions. They’ve already closed in Massachusetts, Illinois, and the District of Columbia.
Statements from children from same-sex households.
- Adults in this scenario satisfy their heart’s desires, while the child bears the most cost: missing out on one or more of her biological parents. [vi]
- This is about the “missing parent.” Structure matters, and same-sex marriage institutionalizes missing parents.
- When one is absent, that absence leaves a lifelong gaping wound. [vi]
- Just because children are raised under the rainbow doesn’t miraculously wipe away all the negative effects and pain surrounding the loss and daily deprivation of one or both parents. [vi]
- Do not fall prey to the false narrative that adult feelings should trump children’s rights. The onus must be on adults to conform to the needs of children, not the other way around. [vi]
- It is strange and confusing thing to walk around with this deep-down unquenchable ache for a father, for a man, in a community that says that men are unnecessary.
- A psychologist told him [a child raised by same-sex couple] that his aching sadness on Mother’s Day was the result of homophobia. [vii]
- The younger generation of children of gays has lived with an enormous amount of surveillance and speech policing.
- Contacting friends and relatives to apply pressure on them and alienate them from social support if they speak negatively about their family experiences. [vii]
We are called to be saints.
Just as Roe v. Wade wasn’t settled in 1973, significant victories are being won every day; this new struggle to preserve and protect traditional marriage by definition and consecration has just begun. As we carry on this fight to uphold traditional marriage as ordained by God with word and deed—and always with charity and compassion for our brothers and sisters—may we not forget who we are fighting for: the children.
Perilous times call for great saints. Are we ready to answer the call and become great saints?
[i] Susan L. Brown, “Family Structure and Child Well-Being: The Significance of Parental Cohabitation”
[ii] David Popenoe, Life without Father: Compelling New Evidence That Fatherhood and Marriage Are Indispensable for the Good of Children and Society
[iii] Loren D. Marks, Mark D. Regnerus and Donald Paul Sullins in Support of Respondents, Obergefell v. Hodges, 3
[iv] Brief of Amici Curiae 100 Scholars of Marriage in Support of Respondents, Obergefell v. Hodges
[v] James B. Londregan, “Same-Sex Parenting: Unpacking the Social Science,” Public Discourse Institute), February 24, 2015,
[vi] Amicus Briefs/13-556 Robert Oscar Lopez and B. N. Klein in Support of Respondents, Obergefell v. Hodges, 7.