To the casual observer, I appear to be a devoted Catholic mother who has lived a sacrificial life worthy of a modern saint. Little do people realize that although I did pour out my life struggling to raise nine kids on a small farm with little disposable income, I actually missed the core of Christ’s message; I tried too hard to be a perfect Christian rather than allowing myself to be loved by God.
Refusing Love
The stress of my lifestyle brought me low, low enough to finally realize I was not as Christian as I had once supposed. In fact, I realized I was actually a verified Pharisee, striving to please God. When I confessed this devastating insight about fifteen years ago, the priest told me he had never heard a better confession but I had missed the next step after my brutal self-examination, the most important step for a disciple of Jesus. I was refusing to accept the forgiveness and love of God.
I recently confessed to an Augustinian priest that my biggest sin was still egocentricity. I added my biggest fear was that I would die, only to discover that I had missed out on what is most important to life on earth by wearing masks, playing society’s games, accepting current attitudes and populist belief’s. Basically, what I meant was I understood that playing a role in a man written play is not the same as living authentically in God’s reality. Even though I saw my ridiculous stance, I felt stuck.
Egocentricity
Most of us are stuck in egocentricity; we see the world as if it is revolving around us because we live as if we are the centre of our tiny universe. Since few of us stand with our fellow believers praising Christ, the only true centre of the entire universe, few of us are living in reality. We are blinded by pride which prevents us from receiving Divine love.
So what was this Augustinian’s solution to the problem of my egocentricity, to my spiritual dilemma?
Rather than allowing me to wallow in negativity bemoaning my weaknesses, he instead gave me an ejaculatory prayer, in the tradition of St. Augustine, who loved the short prayers of the early Christians. It was a prayer which simply raised my spirit to God.
“Jesus, I love you; possess me.”
This is a prayer which brought a smile to my face while giving God permission to have His way with me at the same time. It was a brilliant way to bring me into reality, to see again what is most important in life. It opened my heart to love, God’s love for me, my love for God and love for God’s people.
Love Is The Most Important Thing in Life
The Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us that the most important thing about life in Christ is love for:
2083 Jesus summed up man’s duties toward God in this saying: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” This immediately echoes the solemn call: “Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God is one Lord.”
God has loved us first. The love of the One God is recalled in the first of the “ten words.” The commandments then make explicit the response of love that man is called to give to his God.
The saints not only knew the most important thing in this life is love, they actually lived in love:
All that we do is a means to an end, but love is an end in itself because God is love. (St. Maria Teresa of the Cross [Edith Stein])
You know well enough that Our Lord does not look so much at the greatness of our actions, nor even at their difficulty, but at the love with which we do them. (Saint Therese of Lisieux)
Pure love … knows that only one thing is needed to please God: to do even the smallest things out of great love — love, and always love. (St. Faustina, Divine Mercy in My Soul)
HOW Do We Live in Love?
But how do we live as saints today, in the here and now? How do we live in, with, and through the Spirit of Christ?
Some religious people would maintain that only an active adult Christian can act live as a saint. Yet even Sacred Scriptures disagrees with this narrow view. Saint Paul assures us that all men have the basic laws of God carved into their hearts. In modern language, we all have an awareness of good and evil or a conscience, even the smallest child
The problem is how to tap into and live out of our core, where God has inscribed His moral code on our hearts since it is hidden in our deepest selves. Actually, if we can block out our own ego and selfishness, and simply stop and listen, even a child knows what is right and what is wrong. In my experience, children are capable of the highest moral action, acting purely from a heart full of love.
Thank God for Christ, because He offers even adults an easy way to love and to put that love into action. Relax. Give up striving. Surrender to His love and let it saturate every cell of your body. Then simply let His love flow through you. It ends up being a long journey to such carefree lifestyle because pride and ego get in the way. It is so simple that it seems complicated to our adult, logical minds.
No wonder Jesus praises the child:
“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” (Matthew 19:14)
Love like a Child
A relationship to the living God is actually child’s play. Listen to this exchange between my young children.
One afternoon, I was making dinner, standing at the counter with my back to our three youngest children. Katie and Anthony were lounging around the kitchen table, with three-year-old Lucy perched like a little elf on a high stool, happily swinging her legs.
Simply making conversation, Katie, who was about eight years old, asked Lucy, “Lucy, whose your favorite, mum or dad?”
Lucy replied, “Both!”
Still facing the counter, I looked over my shoulder and intruded on their conversation. “Smart answer, Lucy.”
But Lucy was not done; she responded, “But she’s not my real mum. Mary is.”
Katie rolled her eyes, slapped her forehead with the palm of her hand and said incredulously, “Where does she get this stuff?”
I tried to explain as simply as I could. “Well, the Holy Spirit is in her heart and she listens to His voice.”
Lucy jumped right back into the discussion and chanted in a sing-song, lilting voice. “That’s right. God the Father in my heart. Baby Jesus in my heart. Holy Spirit in my heart. Mother Mary in my heart … but … I still like mum and dad the best!”
Katie rolled her eyes and plunked her head down on the table with a loud sigh. “Where does she get this stuff?”
I just laughed.
A few weeks later, as I crouched down to tie Lucy’s shoelace, Lucy picked up the small gold cross I wore around my neck and said, “This is the cross of Jesus and the glory of God shines all around it.”
Katie rolled her eyes again, slapped her forehead and asked, “Where does she get this stuff?”
This three-year-old got it right from the source of all truth. She was humble and little enough to remain open long enough to listen to the voice of God within her and to love Him in return. She was pure enough to love those around her with a child’s devoted love — a love, in fact, that is worthy of a saint.
10 thoughts on “So, HOW Do We Live in the Love of Christ?”
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I have been coming up against this insight again and again lately, that I need to “relax, stop striving, and let Gods love flow through me”. The problem for me is I’m not sure what relaxing actually looks like. How do you relax? For me when I hear that I think “really, I’ve been doing it all wrong with all this child rearing and forgiving and serving, and what I really should be doing is sitting on the couch eating Cheetos and ignoring my kids while Gods love flows into me?” (I realize this isn’t what is meant but my question is what DOES relaxing actually look like? What is Holy (as opposed to worldly) and loving (as opposed to selfish) relaxing? Because when I think about such relaxing I can’t even picture what it would mean. So I find it hard to begin. Please help with what it looks like for you. Thanks!!
It is a conundrum, isn’t it? We still have to do the “duty of the moment” while also trying to be present to our children. Mothers are usually so sleep-deprived and busy, they have no time to relax. Yet, it is possible to relax interiorly and open our deepest selves to receive the Love of God. This is true prayer, receiving Love and allowing it to flow through us to our children, even while our bodies are busy. Then we trust in God to save us and our kids, despite our failings and weaknesses.
The best pray is “Help, show me, I am clueless”… and watch what happens. Your mind might not understand how to begin but your inner spirit, which is united to the Holy Spirit through baptism, gets it. Give your spirit and the Holy Spirit permission to take charge.
See God’s Love and How to Receive It
That is awesome to read about the little 3 Y.O , possibly a future St.Therese , even if she does not get canonized like in the Carthusian style ( having read how shunning all occasions of worldly acclaim, they do not even desire that , which adds to the varied ways and roles that The Father allows for freedom , for the Family of His children . )
Right about the deep seated ways pride can hide , esp. in the refusal to accept God’s mercy , with the lie from the enemy ‘I know better than God that I do not deserve His mercy ..my sin is greater ..’
That little poison dart is given by the enemy since he likes the person then denying the same mercy to others as well , spreading around a banquet of guilt and shame , as in the case of Judas who had contempt for The Lord , thus could not trust in His love , only could think of the extent of own evil .
Thus ,as mentioned, praising and thanking The Lord for His mercy , for oneself and for others
as the antidote and the Holy Mass walks us through these steps , in the powerful company of heaven !
The personal and societal anger resulting from pride and its effects , such ways often fostered by the power hungry , ignorant / evil in authority can lead to all sorts of illnesses too –
such as even the seemingly far removed ones , for example the the ‘ dry eye ‘ syndrome ,
said to affect 8 % of population , having a root of auto immune dysfunction of the body fighting against self .
And those who who ought to know , ignore the obvious roots of such issues , instead often using the two edged sword of the enemy , by fostering societal unrest and wrong choices against God ‘s truth !
The interesting aspect of narratives of weaknesses and failures mentioned in scriptures for our instruction can be , we can invoke The Spirit , as Blood and water , thus as The Two edged Sword of The Spirit , with an attitude of repentance and trust in His mercy , into situations that parallel our own , in the timeless eternity of the now , in God .
Thus , for example , for pride , seeing us there with Adam and Eve, calling on His mercy ;
sibling rivalry , may be with Abel and Cain , Joseph and brothers , lust – David ,
disbelief and pride – the Pharisees and so on , thus possibly helping family lines as well .
Some books on Family Healing would mention how such an aspect might be important in getting rid of root of habitual traits / personality disorders which are often seen as intractable .
Good thing too is , sharing the truth about the timeless intervention of the eternal power and mercy of our God – those belief systems that fall for the errors and lies about reincarnation or how violence gets one to heaven might see where the real light and the true Way is !
The curious mention of St.Paul about persons getting baptized for the departed might very well
be in this connection , how the early Church recognized the power of may be the Holy Mass and had desired its benefits not just for themselves but for the departed as well .
We can even enjoy the romance of our ancestors , thus counter those who might think The Church is too prudish – the Song of Songs , seeing same as the prophetic voice of Solomon , about
Sts Ann and Joachim , the parents of Mary , before the birth of their first daughter , the older sister of Bl.Mother ( not discounting its more mystical aspects for the more spiritually advanced )
That aspect might even help to curtail any aspect of feeling deprived by those who come from countries that suffer priest shortages , since many in such places may not trust that celibacy for
The Kingdom can have great benefits without feeling deprived .
Those in blessed large families such as yours too , there might be a few vocations and the sense of belonging to noble and loving family lines might also be deepened by such means .
May be some one can do a large study to see if such reading the Song of Songs as the love poem of our G . parents Sts Ann and Joachim can help teens and others struggling with issues in this area , by bringing in that sense of noble affinity for them and filling any inner emptiness too as
an aspect of love , thus not to let the wandering demons return seven fold !
Holy Mother Church already gives us all these already , in the help of the saints , the rosary
prayers and of course the Holy Mass .
May be a deeper awareness of same can help us all to trust more in His mercy .
How do we live in love? Jesus said….if you love me you will obey my commandments. The only true relationship with Christ one can have is through His Church, the Catholic Church. Through the Sacraments He instituted for us (I will be with you always) and His teachings (Doctrine…..if you love me you will obey my commandments). Otherwise it is just seeking your own personal Jesus which is what you alluded to with ego.
And about the Holy Spirit……St. Augustine also said this…..To the degree that someone loves Christ’s Church, to that degree he has the Holy Spirit.
Good point but if we only strive to obey His commandments in our own strength, we are just like the Pharisees with whom Jesus was furious with. They LOOKED perfect on the outside, like white washed sepulchers. Only Divine love can purify us from within and transform us into the Presence of Christ. This has been the subject of other essays.
What the heck? Pharisees? How’d they get in here lol. Where did I say anything on what you alluded to? Did I not mention the Sacraments the source of Grace?
Yes ,you did mention Grace. My reaction to keeping the commandments was rooted in my own weakness; I find I take back control all too easily and end up trying to save myself by my good works and devotions