“Why all the *things?*”
This comment took me a little by surprise. I’ve heard it more than once by someone who has left the faith, in part because of a stated desire to get rid of all the ‘things’ in Catholicism that supposedly stood between them and an authentic relationship with Jesus Christ.
It’s a point, though, that deserves an answer. If, indeed, Christ is risen from the dead, why do we need ceremony after ceremony each Sunday to bring Him to us? Why do we need novenas, saints, statues, rosaries, repeated prayer after repeated prayer, all in an effort to get closer to God? Why not just dance in front of a giant TV set and a rock band, and listen to a preacher for an hour, and enjoy *that* instead?
Why not just have fun?
The answer: There’s joy in following Christ, true. But an honest look at the lives of the saints will reveal that while life for the Christian can have joy, fun as it’s understood today really isn’t a part of the equation. In fact, if you chase after a Christian denomination looking to have fun, you’re really not doing it right at all.
Let me explain:
The Catholic faith really doesn’t make sense if you try to explain it in terms of history alone. Yes, the rosary makes sense if you look at it in a historical context. So does perpetual adoration. But that’s not what necessarily brings joy to doing it.
The Catholic faith also doesn’t make sense if you try to explain it as a religion. We then find ourselves trying to compete with every other religion in the world, explaining how things are different, the same, and what makes Catholicism so special, anyway?
For people who want things ‘simple’ (read: easy and fun), I’ve found that the best reasoning is to look at the Catholic faith first and foremost as a family. It’s a way of referring to the Church I heard Scott Hahn say when I was channel flipping past EWTN one day, and it stuck with me since.
In the Catholic faith, just as with any family, there are people we like and don’t like, people who are wonderful, who are just good, who are bad, and who are infamous. There are also joys, rituals, sufferings, and traditions, all from our shared family history. If you saw a family as rich as the Catholic faith and saw a person who groused that they hated it, you’d mire likely suggest that it wasn’t the family that was broken, but that the person had a bad attitude.
That’s a general statement, though. What if the conversation focuses on a specific point, such as:
“What, you say God’s gong to send me to Hell if I miss a Holy Day of Obligation? What kind of crazy idea is that?”
Well, remember:
-You are part of God’s family.
-Families have many important days through the year; Mother’s day, Father’s day, birthdays, graduations, and so on.
-A mortal sin is a huge break in the relationship between yourself and God.
-A Holy Day of Obligation is like a Birthday-how would your relationship be with your mom if you skipped her birthday so you could sleep in, or watch something on TV?
-Worse: How would your relationship with your mom be if you ditched her completely, deciding instead to hang out with the guys at the Apostolic Faith Reformed Tabernacle of Jesus Christ Redeemer of Everyday Saints down the road? After all, they’re more fun, aren’t they?
…looking at the Church as a family actually can help even with Apologetics that usually need a ton of verbiage to answer.
Q: “What about the bad popes? And bad bishops? And bad priests? God’s Church shouldn’t have bad leaders!”
You could give a loooooong discourse on Ananias and Saphira, note Judas and Peter’s betrayal, Peter’s redemption, the horrific ends met by ‘bad popes’ like Alexander VI, and…..(warning: if your attacker is like most people, his eyes glazed over before you got to Judas)
Or:
“Does your family have problems?”
Q: “Yes.”
You: “Big family. Biggest in history. Moreover, is your earthly dad perfect?”
Q: “Well, no, but…”
You: Neither is my dad. Or the pope.
It’s not a cure all, but it does make folks think.
Is confession and penance a problem? Use an illustration most parents could identify with:
Q: “Why can’t I just confess my sins to God? Who says I need penance?”
You: “Imagine you just walked in the door to your house. You wife is tied up, the dog is tied up, the walls are smeared with paint, and the children are doing a wardance out of Lord of the Flies around them…”
Q: “You’ve just described my homelife.” (note: I really did have a protestant say this to me once…)
You: “Maybe so! Anyways, even if they see you, hear you yell and say ‘Daddy, we’re sorry!’ and mean it, after it’s over, you’re going to tell them to…”
Q: “Clean up the mess. I forgive you, but clean up the mess.”
You: “That’s what penance is. It’s cleaning up the mess.”
For many who find Marian theology inscrutable, I’ve found protestants understand Marian doctrines are most easily when they are put in a familial context:
Q: “Why do you worship Mary? I saw you putting flowers at her statue, and bowing to it!”
You: “Do you have a mom?”
Q: “Yes, but…”
You: “Do you love your mom?”
Q: “Sure!”
You: “Did you get your mom flowers on Mother’s day? Do you think Jesus minds if you give His mom flowers?”
Q: “Yes, but that’s different!”
You: “How? Plus, insisting on talking to Jesus **alone** at the expense of Mary and the Saints is like saying you will talk to your Father alone, since he’s the real power in the household. Does it hurt or help your relationship with your dad, if you purposefully ignore your mom and your sisters and brothers. Especially if they are right in the same room with you, and you ignore them completely. Wouldn’t you find a family that acted that way was just a little weird?”
…granted, you may not get this far with a real person without being interrupted, but you get the idea.
This is not, of course, a substitute for real apologetics. Every Catholic needs to be out there, reading scripture and finding the historical roots of the faith so as to have a detailed answer for those that require it of them. But there are times when a quick answer based in the experience of the human family. As our family life on earth is a reflection of the will of God in Heaven, it makes sense that we, the adopted sons ad daughters of God, could find our family life in our domestic churches reflected in bigger ways in the family of God, His Church upon earth.
30 thoughts on “It’s a Family Thing”
I believe the problem with many people is they expect perfection from those who lead the Church when everyone knows no mortal is perfect-well, the Saints are an exception but even they are not perfect in the sense God is.
Anyway, with the mentality of our modern era where there is the demand for instant gratification, no time
to contemplate anything meaningful in a rational, and objective way, no desire to sacrifice today for a greater good tomorrow, (HEAVEN!), an unhealthy need for constant noise and a hatred of silence, and so
many “spiritual” places to choose from (the whole Truth of Christ is found only in the Catholic Church but too many people settle for a little of it or none of it), the Church hasn’t found a way to communicate Her fullness, beauty, Truth, and traditions that have served to satisfy the hunger of the heart and soul of millions of people for centuries for the last 50 years.
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I got some good chuckles from your examples- funny and true! I enjoyed this!
You attempt to explain Catholicism using the analogy of family …. it limps. The rituals which you mention: bead, days of celebration, repetitive prayer, rituals, Mary, etc., etc. do not find their origins in Catholicism….they predate organized Christianity by thousands of years. Catholicism is one path to the Source, if you choose that path.
Phil! Been a while. 🙂
bead? as a ritual? Didn’t see that in any of my comments.
Sure, there are many similarities between Catholicism and ancient religions.
Catholicism, however, is the fullness of truth. It’s *not* the same as an ancient religion, tho; that’s akin to suggesting the Nazi and American armies were basically fighting for the same things in WWII, just because both sides used uniforms and guns. Similarities of form do not equal identicalness of meaning or purpose.
In other words…nope. 🙂
No one is going to send their own soul to hell. That would be akin to suicide. You made
a bad analogy and do not seem to have the humility to admit it.
I dunno…I see a lot of people do dumb things when they know the consequences. It’s not a bad analogy at all, really. 3rd time: What *would* your relationship with your mom be if you skipped her b-day to watch the football game? I’m wondering how many times I’ll hafta ask the question before you answer it…. 😀
You see, James, you Mom wouldn’t be the breaker of the relationship…you would. Likewise, if you break your relationship with God (ie. through a Mortal sin), He’s not sending you to Hell. You are.
A child who doesn’t believe that they’ll get hit by a car if they run in the street- is that the fault of the parent who warned them, or the child not believing the consequences the parent told them about?
Not suicide. Just stupidity. And pride. And a bunch of other things that are the s-word….yep, sin.
Your hopeless, but i do like your naivety.
JD, first it’s “believe” the consequences. You don’t even know where your car is at the
moment unless you can use one or more of your senses to “know” Two, if I called to say I was busy her response would be the EXACT same that Jesus had after he came back to find his disciples who were sleeping – Mk 14;41 ” Sleep on now, and take your rest ! ” Had I told her I just took the life of my neighbor – a real mortal sin – she would
be devastated. Build it and they will come the ad goes. Peddle that logic, JD and they
will eventually leave – refer to your colleague Matthew Christoff, for whom I have great
respect.
Called to say you were busy is a valid excuse to miss a HDoO as well- ie. being sick, traveling, the list goes on.
Just ‘being too tired’ isn’t…
I do think it’s a tad funny you call me naive, when you yourself don’t seem to know quite as much about the Catholic faith as you’d like to have us believe. 🙂
Case in point, Mk 14:41 doesn’t say what you claim it says:
Returning the third time, he said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners.
…so, if you were trying to use that to justify missing HDoO’s, you’re barking up the wrong tree.
“Build it and they will come the ad goes. Peddle that logic, JD and theywill eventually leave – refer to your colleague Matthew Christoff, for whom I have great respect.”
Don’t know who that is…honestly, I don’t work with anyone named Matthew Christoff.
” Just ‘being too tired’ isn’t…” – is
I do think it’s a tad funny you call me naive, when you yourself don’t seem to know quite as much about the Catholic faith as you’d like to have us believe. 🙂
– That’s ok, JD, as least you can see the humor 🙂
Case in point, Mk 14:41 doesn’t say what you claim it says:
– I use the Douay Catholic bible.
Don’t know who that is…honestly, I don’t work with anyone named Matthew Christoff.
– He’s a Catholic Stand columnist like you but one who is very worried about
the Catholic man crisis.
Is? *Chuckle* I’ve yet to hear from any mom who thinks “too tired’ is a good excuse. I’ve do doubt you’d say yours is, but I also don’t know anyone who’s genuinely ‘too tired’ to attend a HDoO. More often: “too tired” = 2 lazy….
Wondering what makes you think I’m a columnist….
BTW: Do you concede, then, that the author isn’t saying that Mary sends you to hell for missing the HDoO?
Ok, JD, let’s say “too lazy”. But as Francis said, if rules aren’t bringing people to Christ then the rules are “obsolete”. The CC is the only church that assigns penalties while others just call sin what it becomes : consequences and entanglement.
I do not recall St. Francis saying this. But even if he did, a) was he talking about HDOOs, 2) He’s not the Church, and doesn’t speak with Christ’s authority 3) You might be racing a translation to english m=from medieval italian.
The CC is the only Church that speaks with Chirst’s authority, “he who hears you hears me”
It’s not my theology I follow but His. And so ought you. A penalty? Again, look at the family metaphor. Some rules change, but as long as they are in place, they ought to be obeyed.
” …but as long as they are in place, they ought to be obeyed.”
You’d never have made it as a protester against the Vietnam war 🙂
I didn’t have a problem with Vietnam. 🙂
Also: Protest is fine, within the rules. I yell at God all the time about things I don’t like in my life.
But I still follow Him. Always.
” I didn’t have a problem with Vietnam. 🙂 ”
That’s because you didn’t see as many dead on both sides as I did 🙁
I do not know how that is relevant to the discussion; I did not serve, but I can have an opinion on any war, given my research & discussions with the men who fought in it.
FYI, I have been protesting various gov’t actions for quite a while- pro-life activities since the 80s, no less.
Did you want to keep going down this rabbit hole, btw, or go back to the actual topic the article was about?
I would think protesting that war would have been in the interest of pro-life. However, I’m finished with the actual topic, having made subjective points
about it at the beginning.
The war was kind’ve over by the time pro-life became an issue, IIRC.
People do in fact chose Hell over God, they begin to live where they choose to go right here and now. When one intentionally has chosen a life filled with evil, that one can’t tolerate God or being in His presence and so chooses Hell to avoid God and seeing what they done (though that can’t be escaped even in Hell). That’s basically what Hell is, choosing to be separated from God of your own freewill.
I agree, Snow.
Sorry, I thought you said otherwise above.
One does send their own soul to hell if it is not redeemed by repentance and God’s forgiveness.
pups, as the nuns explained – Pray Always. Ones last thoughts send your soul
to the next life – on God, to God – on the mundane with enough ” treasure in
heaven”, to one of the many mansions until the credit runs out. On revenge,
hatred, contempt ect and no treasure … (shuddering) its indecent to speculate.
Now,stop being such a simpleton.
I have no idea what you are talking about. No teaching of the Church I know of ever said that it is one’s last thoughts that send your soul to the next life.
“Not everyone who says to me Lord, Lord shall enter the kingdom of heaven but he who does the will of my Father.” Matt 7:21 But if you take Dismas , the good thief, you’ll find it doesn’t apply – and he didn’t even make a formal confession.
-A Holy Day of Obligation is like a Birthday-how would your relationship be with your mom if you skipped her birthday so you could sleep in, or watch something on TV?
Very bad analogy. A mother wouldn’t send her child’s soul to hell for it.
God doesn’t send your soul to Hell, either. You do.
Try reading again; you choose to break the relationship, God won’t make you stay w/Him.
So, how WOULD your relationship with your mom be if you skipped her b-day to sleep in? Just curious…. 🙂