“You want me to do what? God, you have got to be kidding, right?” I said while I was in Adoration.
“You actually want me to leave my cushy executive career to help bring others to a closer relationship with God and the Faith?” I questioned the ridiculous idea I heard Him ask of me.
I thought to myself, how in the world do I walk away from all that money, prestige and power? Where would I find the courage and strength to tell people about my new ministry and purpose in life? Would my family and friends commit me – especially my non-practicing husband? Will everyone kick me to the curb when they hear it is the Catholic Faith I have come to find as the truth? Let’s face it, most people knew me as someone who didn’t practice anything but being a hedonistic, self-centered, material girl – not someone who had her life transformed by God and Catholicism.
God, please . . .
“God, please – don’t ask me to do this. I am scared, I have no idea how to do this and I am fearful of what people will think about me!”
But … I chose to follow Mary and say, “Behold I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to thy word.” (Luke 1:38)
Then, when my husband agreed to this new path in my life, and praise be to God for all his love and support, I freaked out! Uh, I actually had to do it now! I cried. I was so scared and so clueless that I swirled into a life of tasks and put my prayer life in the backseat, as I have done a few times in my short journey.
What was I to do – I am feeling so alone, scared and stressed out?
Yep, it is that simple. Pray.
Don’t take my word for it, I have seen miracles happen through prayer whether it be sickness, addictions or financial problems. Prayer is communication with God and I have experienced a few of my own answered prayers as well. I am so grateful when I come across a new prayer or someone shares an awesome article or gem with me. In addition, my Spiritual Director, a priest, inspired me to pray certain prayers and to pray harder, with more commitment and confidence that God will answer them.
I have a friend who is in a pretty big financial crisis who I met by email. She read my book and reached out to me. We connected on a deep spiritual level and I consider her one of my ‘besties’ – our stories are so familiar! Her faith inspires me. She has full confidence that God will provide but each and every day we experience a myriad of emotions. And when either of us are teetering on the edge of despair, we reach out and say, “Help me – I need prayers!” I have sent her many prayers that have helped me or that others have shared with me for her specific needs.
We all need to remember we are not alone on our journey! We need help from each other and we should all share the miracles and resources we have found along the way. You never know what fruit they may bear.
So, I just picked myself back up and began to ‘pray big’ in a way that I have never prayed before. On my knees in tears throwing myself at the foot of the Cross and begging him to lead me day by day.
During the past year of my ministry, I have fallen on and off the prayer wagon due to the craziness of life and work. And when I fall off, my life is not peaceful. I have doubts, fears, worries and before you know it, my shoulders are stuck next to my ears.
I remember texting my Spiritual Director when I had one of these freak-out moments. He just texted back, “Pray” … that was it. Honestly, I thought, “What kind of a weak response is that? Dude, I need direction, guidance, someone to talk me off the ledge!” But I did what he said and guess what … it worked! My shoulders relaxed and my body almost became liquified, I was so relaxed and resting in God’s presence I could barely feel or move my body.
Wow, so simple, yet we all struggle to give God our time – each of us has our ups and downs on our journey with God. But I truly believe that I can do nothing without God – I need Him as the center of my life. Prayer must be first and foremost every day and all day. Because when I don’t, my days are frazzled and I start to spiral into my own doubting thoughts.
I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me, with me in him, bears fruit in plenty; for cut off from me you can do nothing. (John 15:5)
My passion is to help others build a deeper relationship with God because my life has been transformed through prayer and the Catholic Faith.
Do you need a miracle? Are you struggling with addiction, illness, stress and worry? I created a FREE guide to help you get what you need through prayer. Get a copy for yourself or share it with someone you love. https://kendravonesh.com/need-a-miracle-now/
Let’s keep trying to focus on Him as the center of our lives through prayer. Find some time today to sit with Him in silence, maybe read a few of the prayers in the guide or just be with Him and rest. He will provide. He will give you peace and joy and everything you need – just when you need it.
I pray you all deepen your relationship with Jesus through prayer and hope this guide helps a little on your journey!
Have a Blessed and Inspired Day.