A Grandmother’s Legacy: Faith, Family, Zest for Life

The Good Ole Days of Family & Faith

The sometimes overwhelming feeling that Catholicism, Christianity, and faith-based initiatives are being replaced by secularism, government, and radical “religious” terrorism can be daunting. History, however, shows us that this is not new. The pendulum swings back and forth throughout human existence.

I worry, though, for my grown children – now in their 20’s. This generation has been bombarded by so much negativity concerning religion. They simply do not have the foundation, no matter how hard some of have tried, to overcome the barrage of “me first,” do what you want,” and the basic impression that there is not a “need” for God because government and its various agencies and departments and programs will sustain you.

Unfortunately for my sons, they were not surrounded by the strong family of faith that I grew up around. While my wife and I did our best, it seems as if we were on an island by ourselves sometimes.

Meanwhile 750 miles East of us, there were four generations of my extended family celebrating Mass together every week, and regularly participating and volunteering in church activities.

My grandfather, who had served as an inspiration for much of my youth, was not shy about expressing his opinion and telling you what to do; he also led through his actions – up until his last days. He passed away 20 years ago due to a heart attack as he was preparing to head to church to work at the weekly Friday fish fry with the parish Holy Name Society.

Since my grandfather’s sudden passing in 1994 (at age 77), which concluded a loving 53-year marriage, my grandmother has served as the family’s gentle matriarch. While not as sharp with the tongue, she is much more subtle, but usually clear, with any disapproving reaction. In addition, grandma undoubtedly serves as a family leader when it comes to living the Catholic Faith.

First of all, her disapproval and/or disappointment of others is always short-lived. Grandma is a walking talking example of forgive and forget. This was just the first – and probably the most important way she illustrated her faith. She treats everyone with kindness. And all are treated equally in her large extended family.

They say that a good home provides a solid foundation. It was true in the case of my grandparents. In addition to being married for 53 years, my great-grandmother (grandma’s mother) lived with them for at least the last 44 of those years. (She died in 1998 at the age of 94). This may actually say more about my grandfather’s patience and understanding!

To further illustrate the extraordinary value that this generation of my family placed on family and faith, my grandmother and great-grandmother also operated their own restaurant for years, while my grandfather worked as a foreman at a local manufacturing plant. Between 1965-66, the “mother and daughter” had such a strong disagreement about their restaurant that they closed it. Yet, they continued lived together in relative harmony – with my grandfather – until 1998! (I just learned about this while I was confirming the details in this article. I never knew that this had happened and the atmosphere in that house, which served as my second home, was nothing but a loving, supporting environment.) This is truly an all-around testimony to exhibiting forgiveness and honoring your vows and your parents.

My grandparents had four sons, my dad being the oldest. All four have followed with married relationships to one spouse for decades, including my father, who has been married to my mother for 52 years, and counting.

When my arrival surprised the family as the first grandchild, my parents and I joined my great-grandmother as boarders in their home. We lived (along with my brother who arrived the following year) in the basement for a couple summers while my Dad completed his college degree.

Can you imagine this happening any more in our society today? I know that it does, but not nearly as much as it could or should.

Fast-Forward to the 70’s-2014

Nine grandchildren have been raised and are living the Catholic Faith, and of the eight that have married, six have been married for over 15 years, including two couples that have already celebrated 25 years together (of which my wife and I are one).

Grandma currently has 17 great grandchildren (age <1-30) and one great-great granddaughter (born in 2013).

This is the part that surprises most people. Grandma has attended every single sacramental event in the lives of her sons, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and great-great granddaughter that weather permitted. This meant traveling to weddings, baptisms, first communions, and confirmations from her home in Pennsylvania to Virginia, Ohio, New York, Tennessee, Kentucky, and Iowa. In fact, she just traveled to the baptism of her only great-great granddaughter, baptized into the Catholic Faith this year… traveling 450 miles at age 91.

Zest for Life

Not to minimize the aforementioned, because they certainly illustrated to all of us the importance she placed upon the Sacraments, but perhaps her most adorable trait is her zest for life.

She has a great sense of humor. Even last week, when I was with her during her first real extensive stay in a hospital and on perhaps one of her worst days, she would react with a smirk and smile to a comment, question, or action of a nurse, doctor or visitor – illustrating her sarcasm and yet her understanding of the situation.

If not able to attend Mass because of her health or the weather, she would turn to a TV Mass to supplement her recital of her daily Rosary and prayers.

To further understand Grandma’s attitude, these situations have occurred numerous times over the past few years – as she has lived in her home alone since 1999:

• She would often get so engrossed in a book that when she would finish reading, she’d realize the sun had come up and the she had read all night!
• She wanted a computer in her 80’s. Why? So she could email the entire family every day and let them know she was “alive and kickin” and up for the day. You should see some of those emails! Hysterical.

Great Attitude. Strong Faith. Love of Family. Love of Church. Love of God.

That’s my grandma … and she has passed along these characteristics to the next two generations. I hope we do not fail her or our God and can instill these virtues and lead others following after us.